Trusting God in the midst of anxiety and doubt 12/30/24

Over the last couple of days I have been wrestling with anxiety and doubt. It all started when a lot of the insecurities and concerns I have been faced with, job search slowing, going another year single, and still being dependent on my family for transportation started to build within me, a lot of frustration and even shame at myself for these and other issues that I have like lust and an over saturation of secular media caused my thoughts to wonder. I have an analytical mind and sometimes my thoughts wonder to thinking about the future and that led to thinking about the people in my life the support system I’ve built up and the realization that they won’t always be around. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and the older generations will pass on unless the second coming of Christ happens in the mean time. The thought of losing my parents who have been a major source of wisdom and guidance for me at any point is a frightening and sad thought, loneliness is a big fear of mine, that also led me to contemplate my own mortality. Someday I too will pass on and when that happens I will face eternity. As a Christian I believe in the hope and promise of salvation, eternal life in heaven surrounded by the love of God with all other believers including familyMade possible by the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Yet that hope can sometimes feel like a maybe, it’s hard to imagine let alone comprehend eternity, the human mind in this life can only really speculate up to the point of physical death. That finiteness can be maddeningly frustrating especially to a mind which likes assurance. Doubt creeps in and you begin to question your worldview, question whether it’s all true, and you begin to feel depressed because the alternative worldview that non believers hold is just as frightening in its implications. The devil is clever at making ones thoughts twist and go to dark places spiraling into depression and even despair.

Anxiety is one of the hardest life mountains to overcome yet God has provided the means to overcome it. By re centering and anchoring myself in his word I have been able to draw closer to him. God’s word the Bible is a testament to his faithfulness. God does so much for me daily and through his word he encourages me to look back on all the ways he has been faithful to me in even the little things. Proverbs 3: 5-6 instructs me to trust God in all things and to not lean on my understanding instead submitting all things to him. I must lay all things before the throne of God and he will give us peace and comfort, we do this by praying and sometimes that praying is tearful and born out of sadness and worry. But God is turning my sadness to joy and worry to peace, God has also provided me with support from fellow believers, it is important to express and discuss these things with people and sometimes that means crying in the arms of your pastors wife while voicing your fears out loud. Those who walk in faith comfort each other and I am grateful for the support and love through this whole ordeal. Day by Day I draw closer to God and day by day he brings me peace. I am learning to look back on my life with gratitude for what God has done and all the beautiful things in life as Philippians 4:8 instructs. I must lay bear all things to God and remember that I am his beloved creation as Psalm 139 instructs and through all this I am reassured of the truth of his word I do not have all the answers but faith requires trust based on the faithfulness of God’s word I believe God’s word is the truth and I have the testimony of those who have walked with God, therefore I know my faith is not blind. I am realizing the peace of focusing on the now and leaving all else to the Lord, I am learning to thank God for even the smallest blessings everyday. In a dream I have recently been given the promise of power, wisdom and teaching in him and through him, and I remember The promise of Jeremiah 29: 11 that God knows the plans he has for me are to assure my hope and future not just for this moment but for eternity is my foundation as is . So when you are worried about the future look to God go to his word and lean on him and the belivers he puts in your life, reflect and rejoice in all he has done and he will turn your worry and dread into peace joy and anticipation as he did for me.